Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
