If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
