nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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