It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
