All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
