How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
