Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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