Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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