i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
