is your mom at the bar?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
