so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the condom got lost in my hair
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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