Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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