so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
