I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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