We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
