May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
