you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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