he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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