I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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