The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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