This girl is more easily done than said...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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