Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
