Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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