My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
