Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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