I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
