Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
