True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
