i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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