You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
