I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
