It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
