In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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