I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
