We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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