There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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