This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
