I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize