Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
