hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
