ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
