you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
