It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
