Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
