so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
