The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
