I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
