He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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