I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
