HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
