At least make sure they are 18
Why
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
